Chapter 5 – Low Self-Esteem
It whispers, I am worthless. I am not good enough. I am not loveable. I always mess up. I’ll never amount to anything. I am not deserving.
Have you ever heard or felt any of these words? Even if you were never accused by anyone around you of being worthless or a failure you could still have this sort of belief inside you. I call these ‘core beliefs’. They often reside deep within the personality or psyche and are usually passed from parent to fetus before birth. This is no one’s fault. The fetus feels and absorbs many of the beliefs, metaphors and feelings of its parents. This is not a conscious process on the part of parent or fetus. If one parent or another then reinforces the acquired belief during early childhood it can then become even stronger. If a parent feels worthless or not good enough themselves it is possible that he or she will treat their child in that way. Even if parents treat a child well and give the child constant, positive reinforcement it is still possible to carry such a negative core belief into adulthood. The manifestations of these beliefs can be many and varied.
- A pattern of relationships with people who treat
you as if you are worthless, not good enough or unlovable.
- Relationships with people who are emotionally
unavailable for any number of reasons.
- Perpetual limits in what you are able to
accomplish with your work and any other area of your life.
- Inability to fulfill your dreams and follow
through on projects.
- Self-abusive and self-destructive behavior.
- Lack of sustenance, love, joy or peace.
Low self-esteem makes you vulnerable to depression and other shadows. In fact, it is usually the source of these shadows. Depression cannot exist unless there is some form of low-self-esteem present. They are like two sides of Velcro.
Dissolving low self-esteem requires a bit more work than dissolving most other shadows. Often, just discovering its presence takes a great deal of honest introspection. One of the reasons is that it speaks in the first person. It almost always says, I. If it said you, you would suspect that this subtle voice/feeling inside was not your own, (which it is not). Another reason is that it is often so ingrained in the personality, mind and even body, that it can be difficult to disassociate from. If you grew up all your life with a shadow like this as an ‘integral’ part of you how do you know what life is like without it?
To dissolve any form of low self-esteem you first discern its presence. If you cannot feel or hear it at first then look at your life. Use the manifestations listed earlier. If you see any of these metaphors in your life it is very likely that one or more of these core beliefs are residing within you.
Face this shadow. Look at it closely. Ask it what it wants from you. Listen to what it is telling you and what it has been telling you for so long. If you can visualize it, that can be very helpful in dissociating from it. When you have discerned the shadow/belief/metaphor and examined it carefully and honestly, then apply the 14 practices to dissolve it and feel your Real Self again.
Remember, you are a pure and perfect Soul right this moment as you are reading these words. The Soul that you are has no concept of being worthless, not good enough, powerless, not deserving, unlovable or any other such ridiculous belief. These concepts are absolute lies. Do not accept then any more.
Reality is flowing, fulfilling, peaceful, joyous and full of love. If you are not seeing Reality then dissolve the shadows that are attempting to hide it from you – especially the one that tells you that you are less than what you really are.
Now ask yourself,
If there is no self-doubt in who I really am, then who am I?