More Questions & Answers

While meditating, is repeating an affirmation as effective as just clearing your mind?

If you are trying to make changes in your life, trying to find answers to questions or working on experiencing inner peace then clearing your mind is far more effective.

Affirmations are problematic and usually just clutter the mind with nonsense. They can also set up an inner conflict that only gets worse. For instance, if you have a belief, deep inside, that you are worthless or undeserving then repeating an affirmation that you are worthy of having a great relationship or a 6 figure salary then you will always fail because the deep inner core belief is far more powerful than your affirmation.

You must first deal with that deep core belief and dissolve it before you can make any progress. To do that you will need to clear your mind and to look deeply within yourself to find and then to deal appropriately with that core belief. Once you have accomplished this you will not need any affirmations. Your choices and actions will be an expression of the one who already feels completely deserving and worthwhile.

There are times I recommend affirmations to my clients but I have them affirm what they already and truly are, not something they want to be that conflicts with what they believe deeply inside themselves.

If you would like further insights into this just contact me.

If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.

Take care,



Do you know any good online therapists? Do you do online therapy? Do you think it will be helpful to have online therapy and never meet the therapist?

For many years I did only in person clinical and private practice psychotherapy with clients/patients. Now, with the advent of dependable video conferencing, I do almost all therapy sessions via video/audio Skype. My clients and I find it just as effective as in person therapy and, often, much more convenient. I am able to work with clients all over the world now in real time wherever they are and am also able to conduct sessions with them from wherever I am. I am fortunate to have developed the skill sets necessary to do this successfully now for many years.

It is important that you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with. I suggest reading about them at their website. Learn about the types of therapy they do and how they approach counseling. Learn about their education and work experience. Find someone who fits for you. There are many factors to consider. There is no one perfect therapist for everyone. Contact the therapist you are considering by email and ask them some questions that you have. See if their responses fit for you. Also, be sure you both have the dependable technology to facilitate video conferencing without glitches.

When you work with a good therapist, whether via video conferencing or in person, you are meeting them and getting to know them.

Some clients/patients need to be in the physical presence of their therapist and some therapists need to be in the physical presence of their clients. For those clients and therapists online therapy is not appropriate. You must decide for yourself according to your specific needs.

If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.

I hope this is helpful.

Take care,



How do you deal with isolation when you are enlightened?

An interesting question.

Actually isolation is impossible. Loneliness is impossible.

When you experience enlightenment you realize that you are absolutely One with everything. There is no separateness. There is no isolation. It is like a drop of water entering the ocean and becoming one with the ocean.

After you experience enlightenment you realize that the one who feels loneliness, separateness, isolation, anxiety, fear, etc. is not who you are.

Intellectual answers are fine but your experience of enlightenment is the only real way you will get an answer to your question. It is impossible to understand enlightenment until after you experience it.

I have written a great deal about this and posted everything here. Feel free to read more here.

I hope this is helpful.

Take care



Is there anything a person can do to gain greater self-awareness? What has worked for you?

Yes, absolutely.

Self-awareness is essential for a human being to mature and to function in a healthy way in relationships and in society.

There are a number of ways to gain and to increase self-awareness. Here are a few that I recommend to my clients:

  • Meditations for increasing self-awareness that are designed for looking deep within yourself for beliefs, reactions, motivations, emotions, etc.
  • Mindfulness exercises like this one…

  • Long, honest and open conversations with people you trust to give you clear feedback
  • Psychotherapy with a good therapist
  • Learning to be honest with yourself
  • Practicing looking into a mirror and having an open and honest conversation with yourself. Then making note of your insights.

I have written a great deal about self-awareness and Self-Awareness Therapy and have posted everything here at my blog. Feel free to read more here and to try some of the practices I have outlined.

If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.

I hope this is helpful.

Take care



In meditation, how do you observe the observer? Or turn awareness on itself?

A very interesting question.

Consider this…

The Observer is already observing.

There is only one Observer, it is not you.

You are the observing.

The only way to experience the truth of this is to surrender and dissolve completely and utterly into the Observer until there is nothing left of you.

Here is graphic metaphor I call the Water Glass Metaphor you can contemplate…

It is actually impossible to understand this until after you have surrendered, until there is no glass left.

Here is a meditation you can practice to experience this if you like…

Then this one…

There are many more meditations posted here that will be helpful. Try them.

If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.

I hope this is helpful.

Take care


A Moment of Enlightenment

Thank you for your guidance. I tried to do the meditation that you mentioned, but I haven’t been having much success. I think I only once got the feeling of “being the watcher”, in the beginning of a meditation, but it only lasted for a couple of seconds. It was a strange feeling tho, like I tried to step back and just be the watcher, and then like… I completely disappeared. I was just not there, I couldn’t find myself anywhere, but something was left there, that wasn’t me. It’s like they say – awareness was there, and I was not. Everything was gone, but there was something left, and that was awareness. Of course, I am not sure about this experience, may be I was just hallucinating it, but it felt like something real, at least the only thing that “happened” during meditation. I tried to meditate some more, but it feels like nothing happens and I’m just struggling through it.


That sounds like a wonderful experience. You began to experience your Self.

It is normal to try to hold on to your identity or personality even when you begin to feel the Self. But feeling as if you are nothing is part of the process. The next step in this is to completely surrender to the experience of nothingness as if you were melting or dissolving into it. It may feel as if you will die if you go too far with this but you will not. No matter what that voice in your head tells you. Just keep going until there is nothing left of ‘you’.

Everything changes once you do this.

Do not struggle with it. Struggling is like shadow boxing or playing air drums and expecting to get a sound from the snare.

The emptiness, nothingness is what is Real. The personality you call your name is just a hologram.

Just relax and watch and then surrender.

Take care


A Question about Awakening

I often hear references to waking up or remembering when referring to enlightenment. What memory are they referring to? And do you need a teacher to remember?

Your questions are very good and ones that most people ask.
You are correct, it is about language and the attempt to put something that is unexplainable into words that people will be able to relate to, understand, recognize and feel. I certainly have not found those magical words. I do not know anyone who has.

It is like trying to learn a new language. At the beginning it all seems a bit overwhelming but when you have learned that language and can speak in fluently everything becomes clear and you look back and realize how simple it all was.

See, even that example was not very good. 🙂

I guess it is more like having a long bad dream and then waking up to realize it was a just a dream and now you are safe and happy and you really always had been.

The memory referred to is the innate memory of who and what you really are. This is what we awaken to.

From my own experience; I finally and fully realized what I was and had always been. I laughed out loud. “I have always been this One. I have never been anyone or anything else. I have never suffered, never been in pain, never been depressed.” And then I laughed a lot more after that. I felt inspired to write about all of this but words have always been inadequate. I have done hundreds of workshops, lectures and seminars about this and I find that some people get it and some people do not. I have written a book about this but those words too only touch the surface. But I always keep in mind that everyone I speak with about all of this is already the same as I am.

So does one need a teacher to help? Probably yes. Like a guide on a trip through a forest. Hopefully you find a guide who knows the paths and has truly been beyond the forest. Not just one who has read about what is beyond the forest. 🙂

I hope this is helpful. I know that the words are inadequate. Often it is easier in person.

A question about Souls

Is there really a Soul or Self?

As far as a discussion of whether there is a soul or not, it is a very interesting metaphysical discussion or debate but at the end of the day there will be only one proof of the matter. We will each find out for ourselves at that moment. (Or not). 🙂

I think it is better to focus on having your own personal experience of Self rather than depending on the writings of others. Others can serve as guideposts or teachers but nothing can replace personal experience of the Self to confirm its existence and to confirm your real identity.

I very much enjoy science and, especially, Quantum Physics, but none of that can replace personal experience.

Can personal experience be flawed? Of course. Can scientific method be flawed, absolutely. Especially when we explore Quantum reality where the observer effects the observed.

These things can be debated ad infinitum.

And then we can sit back. Be still and feel the Self and relax and enjoy life.


Does realizing spiritual enlightenment (oneness) in any way sabotage one’s ability to fall in love, or affect their romantic attraction towards the opposite gender? Also, do enlightened beings lose all ability to enjoy form and duality like food?

Enlightenment does not sabotage the ability to experience love, romance, to enjoy form, food, scenery or any other aspect of the universe. Enlightenment actually reveals an entirely more profound level of appreciation for everything and an experience of love far beyond any human concept of love.

Imagine experiencing a taste of your favorite food with ecstasy beyond any human concept of joy or appreciation. The bliss of that taste would explode a human being into its component parts.

Now imagine loving another being in the same way. Love beyond any concept of human love. The infinite ecstasy and expression of compassion, caring, oneness and touch. Could there be anything more romantic?

What is missing are the illusions of possession, attachment, need, jealousy, fear, expectation and control.

Enlightenment ‘reveals’ the Reality that we are all One Consciousness, One Creation, One Mind exploring and experiencing ItSelf. Appreciating ItSelf. Enjoying ItSelf. Tasting ItSelf. Loving ItSelf. Knowing ItSelf.

Imagine Infinite and Unlimited Love. Meditate on this. Surrender to this. Dissolve into It. Until there is nothing left of you. Then you will experience this for yourSelf.

If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.


Is Quarantine the cause of depression and anger issues? I’ve seen a lot of people say that the most the quarantine has affected is the mental health, why is that?

Talk therapy is proven to be the best and most effective way of overcoming depression.

To overcome depression it is essential to be aware of the source(s) of the depression which can include beliefs, emotions, history, thoughts and outside factors. There can also be physiological causes for depression. A good psychotherapist will be able to help you to discern the causes of your depression and then to help you to learn how to deal with them, overcome depression and then to prevent further episodes of depression.

Of course it takes a great deal of commitment and work on your part but it is certainly possible to overcome depression once and for all.

I have written a great deal about depression and how to overcome it at my blog noted in my credential. You are most welcome to read as much there as you like and to work with some of the self-care practices I outline.

A good psychotherapist will be your support, mirror and guide out of depression. Make use of this if at all possible. It will make the journey out of the darkness easier for you.

If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.


How do I become more spiritual and connect with my higher self? What are ways I can increase spiritual awareness?

There are many ways to focus on your spirituality and to connect to the True Self. Here are some ways to do this along with some example practices…

Regularly practicing certain meditation practices can be very helpful. Especially those for experiencing your true Identity.

Practice being introspective every hour of every day. Pay close attention to every feeling and thought but judge nothing.

Then do this one….

Practicing surrender, letting go of control and desires. Learn how to dissolve your personality, the me, into everything around you until there is no personal identity left.

Practicing being mindful of every moment without any judgement. Just observing.

Do your very best to live authentically every moment of every day. Make living your authentic Self your number one priority. Nothing else can be more important.

I have posted a great deal of information on this blog that you can study that will be very helpful. You are most welcome to read more here.

Remember, it is essential to practice and to really live your commitment to experiencing the “higher self” or True Self. It must be your number one priority. Life will become even more full and fulfilling if you do this.

If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.


“I promise you can still make a beautiful life for yourself even if you lost many years of it to abuse, mental illness, or trauma.” – How true is this?

It is absolutely true.

It may not seem so when you are overwhelmed by the darkness of pain and suffering but it is true.

Consider this:

Every moment is new.

The reality around you may appear to be constant but it is not. The subatomic particles that make up what appears are flashing in and out constantly but so fast that it is imperceptible. In fact, every instant is brand new. Every morning is brand new. Every time you close your eyes and open them you are seeing a new world with new possibilities. A new now presents infinite new possibilities.

If you are willing to completely let go of the past and not carry it with you into this new now then the possibilities are endless for you.

It takes some practice to feel and experience Reality as it is but you can certainly do it. It can be helpful to have a support person, like a therapist, who can help you do this but you can do it on your own with practice if necessary. It will take real commitment on your part the Reality is just waiting for you patiently for your recognition.

I have written a great deal about this and how to accomplish this and posted everything at this blog. You are most welcome to study more here and to work with the practices and lifestyle changes I recommend.

If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.

I hope this is helpful for you.

Take care.



Is it normal to give up being productive in a depressive state?

Yes, it can be very difficult being productive when depressed. It takes great strength to push through the depression to be productive. Even finding a strong motivation can be difficult during depression.

Depression is like a vampire draining you of energy, motivation and clarity of thought. It is like a dark fog surrounding you and filling you.

When I was in clinical depression in the 1980s I had to hire a personal assistant to live in my home to take care of all the cleaning, cooking and other household duties. I had to give up being a psychotherapist during that period of my life but I had a recording studio. I had to work 1 week a month and made a great deal of money. Other than that all I wanted to do was to sleep and die. Even working 1 week a month was difficult but I did it anyway. Something deep inside me kept me going during that one week a month.

Once you overcome the depression you will be productive again.

The trick is to find the motivation, commitment and energy necessary to overcome the depression. Overcoming the depression must be your highest priority. You will need to find the resources within yourself to do this. Believe me, the energy you need is already within you. A good therapist can help you tap into it and to use it.

I have written a great deal about depression and how to overcome it. I have posted everything at this blog. You are most welcome to read more here and to work with the tools and lifestyle changes I have outlined. If at all possible, enlist the help of a good therapist. It will be much easier that way if you have the support you need. If you wish to work with me learn more about how to do so at this link.

Take care.